Cosmica

 Was to see what works would be if I never stopped them and just continued writing them. A fun experiment but of course you realize that I'm basically not in a place to even discover these works any further than what I can present them as. Actually I only see so many different continuations that would never actually see the light of day unless the dude actually commits to writing such things. Technically I was not able to write anything on M.K. mzodern, which was a great progress. Ultimately I think that it'd be best to take some steam off posting on M.K. Mzodern for the time being and focus on something else, something that returns to the focus on art and what Kyeombi is supposed to be over development. Yeah I guess underground social justice. That has Cosmica is kinda caught up in that time period, and you gotta understand that I don't exist in a vacuum. Greatly I'm going to say that there are many great dark time periods where a person is basically suffocated from craving by their parents and forces beyond their control. 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008. Starting from 2009 you really started to fight against this stuff so it starts to not really matter what your parents do. When I went to college it was an opportunity to be like, "Oh yeah I can do this stuff now without them bothering me" and it was great but then all you can see is a society of people who are just like your parents if not worse, mocking you, harassing you even. I will never forget that but ultimately when I first returned home from college it was not because of that but rather because I could no longer exist in that space.

If you look back to the post where I say I quit the blog, it's basically for my own benefit to actually continue the progress because in that time period it was just so hard to continue anything by how much hate I had been given. I think about the Beartooth song on "Free" and how people just ultimately hate the lead singer and basically call him gay because he looks flamboyant and ultimately I really don't care. I haven't been following the band but it's like in the same essence. I have so many haters. I have so many haters that what is the point of making comics for an audience of haters? What is the point of making comics for an audience of haters? I don't have any great fans. I'm going to go find another place that's neutral to post things because people refuse to be good people. Their default setting is to be an idiot. It used to be an idiot, a racist fucking idiot.

If you're a black person, a person who thinks that their faith will surpass all the racism and all this gospel bullshit, that doesn't work out. When people are, for real, evil, us thinking about seeing this woman on TikTok talk about how the community college I went to is racist. Well I say, "Yeah that place is racist because I went there." Now Adu may not get as much racism as she does because I am not, let's say, seen as ghetto but even towards me they are racist, they are racist as fuck and so for her they obliterate her behind, they send her to space with their racism.

My whole great point is that I have a lot of obstacles to create this thing and when I said stop, what I wouldn't post on here anymore in 22, it became too much. It just became too much for a person to continue to do anything and have it go anywhere without it being an uphill battle, on strength you no longer have. 

Black people are often resistant to any foresight. Any foresight to these types of things where you're alone in comics or something and they be like, "We gotta fight for our rights" and all this bullshit but whenever you need them, where are the black people? They said, "Oh that's not for black people." I'm just trying to tell you the real world is very ugly, very ugly. I'm not coming together to say kumbaya, all black people are the same damn thing and all white people are the same damn thing but there are a lot of obstacles and it's never nice.

I think about my favorite comic book character, who is basically Aranya, the spider girl. I just think about how they just kind of messed with the character. She had a cool suit and they just did it down to making this basic thing. Then she had the best supporting cast and they just killed off most of them or just deleted them off the face of the earth so that they just made her a deluded white person, basically with no actual anything to what she is supposed to be: a Latina with a certain culture. But myself, thinking about many different things in this time, I've been going through my own works just so I can write something that shows you how much I have developed my works. I remember in second grade or third grade I decided to write something that basically is a progress work on how far I had developed an art. While this was not very good, I think that I can do better as an adult. 

I sit on my bed wondering what to do with these works and all I know is that this method I have created over time is the end all be all. Is the end all be all? I'm going to go wild with it. I'm going to go wild with it on works that were so obscure that have never been mentioned and you're eventually going to see them. I dug up so much stuff; then you go, "It makes your eyes cry." I dig up so much stuff. I remember that I used to more make draw porn, I'm sure. All right, I dug up so much old stuff. I saw so many different variations of my own work and like, how did not not create substantive yet? Actually I am but not in the sense of what I actually want. 

I find myself remembering so many of these, some of the different times connected to these works. I'm like, how did I forget that? How did I forget this shit? It's basically because of trauma. I decided to not have a professional tone on this site any longer because literally you can't post anything and no one buys anything on here in the first place. Forget all that shit. What the fuck am I even doing? Playing house for what no one seems to want. Now I'm gonna be so very critical of many different things people have said to me over the years. I wanna tell a story about what actually happened during college. This is like a KyoB exclusive, by the way.

He said something to Ken that I'm making, whatever he said, nice, that I'm making something that nobody actually wants. I'm making something that nobody actually wants. Most of the time when my family comes into my room (or rather he comes into my room), he says I'm basically doing nothing. Things are very complicated in the sense that literally things should have never been like this at all. I will not be the person keeping myself in a certain position.

My sick and older sister always liked to say this to me: "You always feel sorry for yourself and think that the whole world is against you." Well quite literally a dude cannot get support from their family. They're banned off of the comic book collab thing because everyone's a racist, marvel and dc very fake. It's not like a real real thing in this world to actually have a comic book job; it's like a fake job. Your point is nepotism and favoritism all at the same go. A You know, there is a great time after I came back from a traumatic event. It's like in 2011. You get sick and stuck, trying to live. Yes, I can try to live. I'm going to be like, I'm going to get a gf.It's like, ultimately, I find myself annoyed, greatly disturbed, at my position, realizing that I'm doomed to live mediocre unless I unlock the method to get to where I want to go. No, it's not some stupid, "Let's write some things for some hours and see if you can get someone to draw it" or some bullshit.

The funny thing is that, being an artist, what's the point of actually writing anything out when you have to draw it? It makes more sense to make some other plans to actually make it more flow-forming, because you're only a one-man person at the end of the day. No one gives a fuck about your work but you.

Now, some people on that comic book forum basically said something to the equivalent of, "I must do it because that's what society will reward." Society does not reward that, my friend. It truly doesn't. It makes no sense; you're just fooling yourself that it gives you structure when, ultimately, when no one reads it, you might as well just have a story that is not based off of that format. Okay, it just makes it easier on you in the end, I think. That some people have monopolized a form of art that no one can actually do. The art. People say AI is bad, and I see that Sora fall off, like, fall off so hard, but ultimately I'm tired of those fruit videos where they're cheating on each other.

My great point is that that gives people the ability to create something even if they're not really creating it, because basically all the art institutions aren't friendly for the general public to learn art. They gatekeep things. It's a series of nepotism and favoritism towards the people who can literally create what white people like in white society, and AI basically upends this people's living. You know? In a degree, it's the nail that allows you, allows me, a person of color, to get ahead by showing that ultimately I don't depend on anyone to create the ideas for me. I don't depend on some nepotism to give me jobs in the first place. 

Cosmica poses so many different questions. The "what if none of these bad things happen to me, the author, and everything is completely ideologable, and basically that's how it would be if I was not me? If I was not stuck with the parents I got. If I was not vested amongst the people I was with, and if I was not black in a society that hates black people. This is what Cosmica explores: the lack of boundaries to entry, the lack of boundaries to creation, the lack of anything. I just didn't go hard enough, you realize. I realize that now.

Ultimately, I'm not going to make this a public effort, but there was actually supposed to be a big thing, and yet it will, so I'm not. I'm not in, so I'm not, in any means saying that being black is a bad thing or that I hate being black. The opposite is actually true, but I'm saying that there are many different barriers to entry that still exist for black people. Now I don't feel like playing civil rights leader or whatever sacrificial pawn just so that someone else in the future can get a leg up. It's my life, and I don't want to live. I don't want to live that. I don't want to be in that story. I don't care. I just don't. I don't want to be that you. 

Love is such an important thing I realize. It's a gateway that opens up connections, idealisms, identity, unity, a shared world, a shared place, a story. I realized that maybe I didn't love enough. In my life I loved many different women for the ideals that they seek to possess, and maybe those ideals are cognitively true, but their physical selves are not that. I'm not going to get into what cognitively true truly means, but ultimately these women I am loved. Always, in some great form of tragedy, they are avidly racist, inferior versions of ourselves. It's kinda stupid to think that such a creature should be loved. That may sound sexist, but once you are treated badly by these people, you realize you've been on a trip. You've been on a journey. Somewhat, it's better not to be stuck there. It's better not to be stuck with this person.

I find myself thinking to myself, if I was truly stuck with them, I had to come back to that every day for a long period of time. I think, after repeated, repeated diss of what my future should be, I think to myself I can not commit to any one woman anymore, not in this lifetime. For whatever, whatever one woman I was supposed to have, if there even was such a thing, it doesn't exist in this world. I always like to be moody, but that doesn't mean me a thing, really, much. I can get back at how badly I felt over the years writing these things when nobody gave a fuck about me. When that thing in 2016 happened, even that feeling didn't even matter anymore. Even that sadness didn't even matter anymore. All I need was primal survival and doubting this feeling exists.

Cosmica does not deny this; however, in its own subtle way, its own subtle faction. Now some people will be like, maybe you should put it online for people to read it or some bullshit. I'll never put my works online for free. I'm not putting it on Webtoon; I'm putting it on Tappas; I'm putting it on my own website for free.

Sometimes you reach a conclusion that's an end-all, be-all conclusion. Rather, you gotta say goodbye to old things that have been hung up on you. To actually progress to new things. To actually be your best and be the best for people who come later. I don't believe in love and believe that I ever will have a wife in this world, not anymore, or that anyone could understand my works. For what someone has done completely churns that whole idealism on its head to the point you don't know what to believe, has basically made your life a joke upon itself, has made everything hard upon you to even do it when it was very hard before. So why not go the extra distance? Why not take it all back? 

I used to think that they were going to say, "This is too old for this," at some point in time, but ultimately I stopped caring about this; that shit, and just continued. I try to play pretend as if all that shit never happened, but in the end, even the Bible says to you, "You know, many things say that you shouldn't lie." In the end, I couldn't find myself to lie to myself any longer. These things happened, and ultimately, I have such bad amnesia. I don't remember things that I should remember. When I look at the works I have in the book, in these things in my books, I can't remember anything else. I can't remember; I am going to remember it unless I see it now.

When I make this Cosmica, it is truly the ultimate. During that September, during that 2016, I decided to myself that, if ever I ever get out of this mental state, I will do true justice to the idea and not be self-bruiting. Get it done. Would a soldier finish? You know, a soldier doesn't actually have feelings about what they must do or they shouldn't. I think that this is like that whole situation. It is like a war. I just like to think of it as a whole misadventure: a whole misadventure that your parents are like that, a whole misadventure that women are like this, a whole misadventure that society is like this. In the end, a person will triumph, succeed, and come back ten times stronger, over and over again.

Truly, I was having so many great, different ideas in that time period. I was feeling so good. I was feeling so great, but at the end, the true idealism was missing. I had nothing. I had nothing but just living in a lurid state of wandering here and there, not really having concrete feelings or thoughts about anything. Sling things, just not caring about the self. The inner pain over the years, just leaving things like a bunch of snakes inside of me. But in my best interest of my own mental health, who could live like that? Not me. Not anymore. 

Because the gateway to the better, to the future that didn't exist, that should have existed, and ultimately I finished fine. Anything I watch on TV is just a filler for what I actually want to see. Nothing I truly want to see exists.

I realized, to myself, looking through these ideas I have, so on, performing in a world where people champion their fan art over everything else. I guess this is like the mid point of what I was going to write in the first place. It's going to talk about how I created my works during college and how much life in those works there is. I just decided that I was going to start from the earliest point and stay at this time. I worked on all my works from 2007/2008 together. I found another version of Mr. Speed. This is an earlier 2007 version, and yes, that is to say that literally I never stopped working on the idea. I actually had a 2013 version, but it was not the same; it's not as good. Okay, it had potential, but it wasn't as good as what it could have been.

They'll just tell you that I'm pondering what is the true potential of things. I watched that show Ninjago; its true potential is basically the ninjas' best move of what they can actually do. I find that many times a person is holding stuff back because they're afraid that they are going to get caught by their parents doing what they need to do in life. I feel as if a dude is hindered because the woman is giving them trouble. I'm just going to say that very simplistically: I feel as if a person cannot do what they were called to do because no one gives a damn to play nice and actually have fair job opportunities. 

I have listened to people's ideas about my ideas that are unsolicited, and I know why I have come to the conclusion that no one has the power to control your ideas. Ultimately, at the end of the day, just by getting it done, you have won. You have won.

I just want to say that, no, I don't think that people should buy my work at all. In fact, it's probably better that they don't in the first place. Why would I say this? Not as a con to force people to reverse engineer their thinking so that they would buy something, but so that I have more things to write about. More things to write about and make things much more interesting, pretty much. 

And then that literally, I had to come to a place in time where I stopped trying to appeal to the trends of people. I stayed away from social media, I stayed away from trends just so I could unlock my true potential. I'm gonna double down. Trump doubles down, and that's not a good example, but if someone nearer sees now can double down, then someone awake can as well, but actually know what the meaning of it is and not to be stubborn, but to actually know what it's for.

Cosmica exists to provide a scene of what the characters would still be doing in their world. When I stop writing, I come back. It's a good way to write something of them returning. Technically, actually following the time period of things, most of the characters will be in their 30s by now, but if I go back to 2015 and redo the first effort, they're still teenagers .Writing Zino, he was basically a husband and a father. Ultimately, he was supposed to be a father to four sons. Zino was his own title, and Zino Flyboy is his own title. Understanding the Zino title itself, Flyboy is supposed to be the ultimate of Zino, by the way, and so he basically has a family in that one. It basically just speed runs his entire story that, in the original, takes nine volumes to tell, by the way.

Now, the modern one I'm coming out with actually supports this idolismYet I realized that, in my mind, I had to have the best opportunity to actually continue the story this way. Yet I actually don't give the Suns much importance or actually spotlight them, because it just takes too much away from the grand idealism I wanted to build. Did you see that? It's the problem. You need to have a brand idealism. You just can't tell a story. That's the problem, and I just feel as if I gotta get away from that. They don't need a scene in the end game where all the woman characters come together, okay? It's the most cringe thing ever. It's what this thing is. . I don't know; continue that original continuity. The original one never had sons; he never had sons. The series in the old Flyboy version does have sons, and so basically I adapted the Zino Flyboy version. It was never the original one. There are so many complex things in the original timeline that a dude is not even going to touch.

For years I've been trying to develop the other side story, the other spin-offs that make up his world, on the M.K. Mzodern blog, but at the end of the day it just doesn't work out because I have to recover from the fall 2016 effort by other people who did bad things to me.I find that myself has nothing much to even doubt but to do in regards to being of what Zino was supposed to do. I made him be the hero who was the elite, to defeat the big bad the others couldn't touch. 

Going on to the next, going on to Black magic. I ultimately made the characters older, and this time they're at college, but they all work at a coffee shop, similar to Stories from the Coffee Shop. Not everyone works in a coffee shop, by the way, in that series. They are more proficient in the arts. They are now actual magicians and not people who stumble upon a book with magic in it. I remember watching the show Magicians, and it's like that that reminded me of what I was supposed to do, but that series was so bloody and distracted me. Yet the mind remembers; that's what it was supposed to be. Typically, the work Black Magic was never supposed to end, but ultimately I gotta start somewhere, I realize. For what I add, I just can't keep the idea alive forever or keep working on it every day. It would come at the sacrifice of the other works without the method I create now. Universe Express and Unbelieve actually appear much in the earliest version of Cosmica. They do appear later on as the main vehicle the people travel to the universe. I actually use a cool navigation trick to show where the Statue of Liberty is in each world, or in the Cosmica world, to show it's not the same Earth. It's a good idea to show the viewer how things are different.

The great premise of that is that, in Cosmica, it's like Disney owns everything. I related my work, Kyeombi, into being Disney. In a world where Disney owns essentially everything, it does not go well, and Cosmica literally is the last human. I don't know why. That's just a premise of the story, pretty much the story of why and where all the other people went, but literally the world is basically unhuman; not as many humans exist. For what, I'm not going to go into here.

Ultimately, what does this sum up about? Only having one fan, one fan that actually cares about the work. I like to call it my inner self, the one that sees the vision for these things as they truly aI find myself realizing that you go to college, and certain people want to think that they know you. They think they know everything about you. They think they know your work just because you hung out with them for many hours in a day, but no, he just read the blog. re. I used to be inspired by Tokyo Ghoul in the state of what it truly was going for in its message: the dark reality of the world and finding some type of enlightenment to continue to be a human. Probably the last example is French Noodle. This time I envisioned him in the group, being a part of the elite force after the previous series ended. What does that mean? That he's no longer an outcast or low-level hero, but a hero true and true.

I find that if you actually look at it from that perspective, of him becoming the key component of a tactical unit, it's kinda sad in a way. The magic of being a lone wolf is gone. Tokyo Ghoul has Kaneki basically be that lone wolf character, and here Francis, aka the France Noodle, is stripped of that title. Basically, it's just a commodity, a part of a team, and frankly, they don't actually have any great purpose in the story, pretty much. You know, when I was in college, there was this girl called Veronica. This woman was a pick-me. This woman wanted to be basically used by the adored of that school. She wanted to be used, shaped, and molded by the adored of that school. That's what the woman of that place used, and in the end it molded them into something twisted and misshaped. It molded them into something ugly and grotesque. Even worse is that it did not actually esteem them to be great human beings. It's like a great disfigurement, preventing them from being a part of human society.

You know, I always think about where this woman would be, what type of misdeeds she was getting up to before the time I would see her again. Eventually I stopped seeing her. At times, when I would see her, she was eager to do any task, as if it's a part of a secret agenda about a state. I found myself pondering upon this idea of a person who is basically brainwashed to like something, even though they consent to it. You damn well know she doesn't like some of the things. She tries to play off that she does like it's only for the mission. It's only for the mission. Well, some things are only for the mission; you gotta say, in any aspect of where you are, among the other citizens of Cosmica's world before they all disappeared.

Cosmica is the only actual true fan that sees beyond the media corruption to what the brand was supposed to be. That is why she is the main character of the story. She actually understands the works. Each Kyeombi show that exists on her TV screen. She understands it all and so much more. I find my body understanding the weight of such notions when I was making the work that truly this is the only way forward. In truth, it did support the work, but I still had to figure out how I was going to actually create the story, actually give a finished version. I didn't know how to edit my images back then, and the technology was so low that there was nothing to do it back then.

I pondered to myself that, if given another chance, I would advertise Kyeombi with Cosmica again. Why? To show the complexity of what can be achieved, and yet I could actually do justice to the idea. I think that I would actually like to make it a series about Cosmica first before I actually go and make it anything at all this time around. While this was just meant to get people into the comics, I just have to say that, in Soundgrown, the marketing to make a bedtime just needs to go onward. That is what will be of Cosmica this time around.